A Storm Brewing

Her parents lived not 3 minutes away, another safety net for her. She tapped the window to the kitchen at her parents as she walked by, knowing her mother wouldn't hear her otherwise when she was in there cooking.
She received a well needed hug from her dainty mother and sat down at the homely kitchen table.

“How is it dear?” her mother asked and put a glass of water in front of her “You look tired”
“I'm worried about dad. He needs to check Reinflints numbers again, he will get blamed if they are faulty,” she mumbled and sipped the water.

Her mother frowned and sat down beside her.

“What makes you say that?”
“Just a thought that has been nagging me all day. Reinflint was in the office today, making excuses on why his unit isn't preforming. He lied to the boss, so I suppose that made me wonder if he is faking numbers,”
“Lying? Why would he be lying?”
“Mom, I spent my whole childhood watching people, I still mostly watch people. I know when people lie. They show all kind of signs,”
“Reinflint is a good man. He has been loyal to the company for years, but if you are worried  you may talk to your father about it. I think you are overreacting. You have been unstrung the last couple of weeks,”

Elise sighed, she knew her mother was right. It was foreboding feeling that had lingered in the back of her mind the last weeks. Like that calm silence and tranquillity just before a storm. She knew something was going to happen, something big. She just didn't know what or when.
She closed her eyes, gathering her thoughts, making the decision not to tell her mother about the foreboding feelings she had. There was no reason for her to make them worry even more about her.
When she opened them again she met the warm loving gaze of her mother and sighed;

“I'm fine, mum. I am just tired. I have had difficulty sleeping the last few nights. I am sure you are right, that I'm just imagining things,”
“Maybe you should seek to speak with Reverend Horcht? It may help you find some peace,” her mother suggested and Elise shrugged.

The preacher was a good man. He was very well liked within the community, and had a true knack for helping people pinpoint there issues and helping them solve them. His striking looks, all tall and dark, didn't damage his image either.
He had an air of wisdom and authority around him, but then again he had been off planet and returned to Haag just a few years ago. Those dark eyes, hidden under husky eyebrows seemed to be able to look into your soul and see what was truly bothering you. What kept you from the Emperors saving light.

Elise just had a distinct feeling that the preacher did not like her. That he was afraid of her. Which was within his rights, of course, since he knew of her issues. She would just feel a lot more comfortable and not so much as a risk if he didn't. She was also worried that he would deem her too dangerous and imprison, or execute, her.

Father said that as long as it was just voices though, then she wasn't in any danger. The voices weren't real, and as long as she knew that they couldn't make her do anything.
They were just mad thoughts made up from her broken mind. Nothing more.

“I will talk to him,” she said with a soft voice and sipped on her glass of water, “Do you and father have any plans for the night after tomorrow? Gustav mentioned wanting to invite his parents on dinner, maybe you could join us?”
“That would be nice, dear, I will talk to your father about it. Is Gustav doing well at his job? I heard they had some problems with the schedule??”
“It was nothing Gustav couldn't handle. Some new adept had categorized some of the childrens files wrong, it sounded worse then it was,”
“I'm happy they were able to solve it,”

The conversation went on about everyday life, her mother softly massaging her hand while they talked. Like she always had. Elise could remember it from when she was very small, her mothers soft hands rubbing her to calm down and comfort her.  In the mean time they talked about work, life and the future, ever so lightly touching on the subject of marriage. Elise-Sophie shrugged when asked what was going on, when they were planning the ceremony.

“We aren't in any hurry, mum. What would happen? I mean nothing changes in our life’s due to that ceremony. I don't think we will have children anyway. You know due to my... state,”

She could see a hint of sorrow in her mothers eyes and she averted her eyes for a moment but then sighed.

“I am sorry, mother. But I can not risk to give my illness to a child. It would just be cruel, since I know it is plausible to happen,”

“I know, love. I know,” her mother sighed “But I still wished, prayed, for grandchildren. But you are right, it would not be right,”

Elise-Sophie smiled comforting and pressed her mothers hand softly before she rose from the chair.

“I'm sorry, mother, I should be going. Dinner will soon be ready, and I don't want to keep him waiting. We see you and dad at church,”

Her mother nodded and gave her daughter a soft damp kiss on the cheek, then Elise-Sophie turned out of the kitchen and walked to the front door.
Every step she took came with a stronger and stronger realization about how safe and familiar the hallway felt. It was like she was walking out of a shelter towards a battle field.

Her heart started beating faster, suddenly she feared the door leading out to the walkway leading her home. It felt like if she opened that door, she would never see her mother nor her father again. Tears weld up in her eyes and her body started to tremble. It was like the darkness crept up on her, like she could hear a monster breathing down her neck and that it was going to pounce when she left.

“Mum,” she said with a trembling voice rising towards a scream, not realizing she stood frozen not two feet from the front door “Mum!”

She heard her mother hurry out from the kitchen and felt her quickly pull Elise-Sophie into her arms  trying to catch her daughters gaze.

“Listen to me,” her mother hissed trying to calm her own nerves to be able to be strong for her daughter “They are not real. What ever you are feeling, or hearing, it is not real”

“Mum, I love you. I love you and dad so much!” Elise said with raising panic in her voice “Tell him that I love him mum! You must promise me you tell him!”

“He knows you love him, dear, and you will be able to tell him that yourself in church. Right?” her mum said and forced Elise-Sophie to meet her gaze “Calm yourself. You are the master of your mind. You can do this,”

Elise-Sophie nodded, and her mother forced her to lean her forehead against her mothers so she clearly could hear the words her mother mumbled to her. A well used trick within the family to drag her mind from that dark thing that was pressing to get in;

“The lucky cats in Stratton Street
  Had seven mice apiece to eat.
          The rest made do
          With only two:
          The total score
          Being twenty-four.
 How many cats ate mousie meat?”

It was a problem she had not asked Elise-Sophie for many years, but after a few seconds of thinking the young woman mumbled;

“Seven were the cats who ate mousie meat, two who were lucky and got seven apiece to eat and five who made do with only two, giving us a total of twenty-four,”

“Correct,” her mother whispered “Are you in control?”

“I am” Elise-Sophie mumbled back and her mother softly released her grip of Elise's head.

The quick Math problem had forced her mind to focus, pushing her sickness to the side and shielding her from it once more.
It was not real. Her fear was not real, only her mind trying to destroy itself. And it could only do so if she let it.
She felt weak in her knees, as after every ordeal she had and did not protest as her mother put her down on a chair in the hallway and went for another glass of water for her.

“I am so sorry,” she mumbled when her mother gave her the glass and her mother just shook her head at the apology.

“There is nothing to apologize for. I am your mother. I will bare your burden with you, because I love you. You told me you felt tired. I should have been more watchful and made sure you were all right,”

Elise-Sophie watched her mother as if she saw her for the first time. She was so small. Shorter then Elise herself, and thin. But in her eyes glowed that fierce fire that only dwell in the heart of a parent prepared to fight to the death for their child. She could see hints of grey in her mothers brown hair but she did not look frail at this moment. Not in the least.

“Sticks and stones will break your bones,” her mother mumbled and stroke Elise's ruddy cheek “But words will snare you. Remember that, always. You can not let the thoughts grip your heart, they will root themselves there and fester. Like an infection to a wound, and they will spread like fire through your blood,”

“I know, mother,” she mumbled still feeling a bit dizzy and weak, “Sticks and bones will break my bones, but words will snare me”

“Drink your water, child, and then I will walk you home. I will tell Gustav to take you to the Reverend after supper. Tell him to call us if you need to take a few days off work. We will cover for you,”

“I am not a child, mother, I can not just abandon mu duties towards the Imperium because I feel a bit weak. I will not be absent from work. I just need to pray and have a good nights rest,” Elise-Sophie insisted but drank her water as a good girl and then let her mother walk her back to her own home.

Elise-Sophie felt better, but that ominous feeling would not go away. Something was coming, coming for her.